June 3, 2012

A freelance-writing, fresh-bread-baking, compost-heaping mother’s shopping list

A new way to say “eat your breakfast,” perhaps in Portuguese or African click tongue

Easy to open kids’ toothpaste

A kitchen counter without piles of mail and school notices

Someplace to put all the damned artwork

Less damned artwork


An answer to “why?”

Someone else to answer to the questions about pictures of the Queen in the newspaper, how babies are made, how much it costs to buy the copper to make a penny, the distance to the moon, how to find the volume of a sphere, and why the word “child” doesn’t have an e on the end when it has a long i sound

A babysitter who doesn’t entertain the kids with Angry Birds


A five-minute call with a prospective client during which no one interrupts, hits his sister, or walks through the room naked, carrying soaking wet underpants

A cat door


Seven minutes without anyone screaming, slamming a door, or saying “I hate you.”

Locally grown tomatoes

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  • Reply lifeineden June 3, 2012 at 3:25 am

    I can only help with one:

    If you find the answer to why, please email immediately with the location. Oh and same goes for patience — if anyone finds that, I’ll offer my first born. I might even offer my first born for nothing, depending on the day.

    Hang in there mama.

  • Reply Lilian Nattel June 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Actually the “e” should be after the “l” not at the end, ie “chiled” not “childe” I believe–though I could be wrong and of course both those are wrongly spelled.

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