November 8, 2012


Zachary has decided he never wants to get married. He thinks it’s great and all that gay people can get married and it’s nice that straight people can get married, but it’s not for him. Why? you may wonder. Because he thinks marriage and children will interfere with his reading time.

He’s started re-reading the Harry Potter series, interspersed with a re-read of the Tales of a Fourth-Grade Nothing series. We’re on re-reads now, because we’re out of new things for him to read. We go to the library and he gets a bag full of books that he finishes in two days. We buy him books and he chews through them in a few hours. If it weren’t for Minecraft, I’m not sure what we’d do.

Meanwhile, Benjamin has suddenly become a compulsive reader. We borrowed a series of fairy chapter books from a friend, and he spent an hour and a half yesterday reading them to his sister till he declared that reading aloud isn’t as good. Now, he walks around the house with the books, reading them at the table, while walking, and while brushing his teeth.  You can’t read while brushing your teeth. It’s physically impossible. So I have to brush them for him.

I, myself, like a good bathroom read. I have magazines stacked in each bathroom. Every now and then, Zach comes out of the can holding Poets & Writers and tells me, “There’s a good writing contest I could enter.” The other day, he decided to bring Harry Potter in with him instead. He was in there for awhile with no telltale water sounds.

“Zach, stop reading and go to the bathroom.”

“But I like reading in the bathroom. It’s more fun because you’re not supposed to be reading in there.”

On the bright side, it’s really quiet around here lately, what with everyone holed up in the bathroom with a book.

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  • Reply De A November 8, 2012 at 2:02 am

    Whaddaya you mean you can’t read while brushing teeth? What sort of dental apparatus are you using? As I told you before, I used to read behind the wheel. Anything is possible.

  • Reply Catherine November 8, 2012 at 2:07 am

    I once blogged about 5 year old A who said he would not raise his kids like we were raising him. “For one thing” he said “I wouldn’t spend so much time talking to my kids because then there would be less time to read.”

  • Reply WendyElissa November 8, 2012 at 4:47 am

    I think he’s right. Marriage WOULD interfere with his reading time.

  • Reply Antropologa November 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    This makes me so excited for when my girl learns, and likes, to read! I already got her the Harry Pottery boxed set in anticipation.

  • Reply Poker Chick November 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Mini reads with breakfast, she reads with dinner, she reads in the bathroom, but only when it’s “not a pee”… Tales has been re-read about 50 times and she’s finally worked up the courage to read the 3rd Harry Potter. I hate to say it though, I’ll take a 101st re-read of Judy Blume over those Geronimo Books or Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Hate that Series.

  • Reply niobe November 8, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Wow. My kid never had any interest in reading. It was one of the things that made me realize that (despite appearances to the contrary) he was not my clone.

  • Reply Courtney November 8, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Wow – once you get Lilah fully on board, your job is done.

  • Reply boliath November 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Emily, My 8 year old has also become a book worm, I have no problem with his interest in books, I was the same myself even if it’s driving me nuts to have to herd him out of his room to get dressed, eat breakfast, etc etc. I am wondering about Harry Potter though, is 8 ok for HP?

  • Reply Heather November 9, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I totally read while brushing my teeth. And my kids can read while I brush their teeth IF they hold the book up by the mirror and don’t read out loud.

    Sorry about minecraft. We argue about minecraft a lot around here. Beause 15 hours over a long weekend is simply not enough time to get things done on minecraft. He’ll need at least 9 hours a day to catch up on work!

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