December 13, 2012

Deep thoughts

Last night, Benjamin had an existential crisis at the dinner table, weeping, “I don’t want to die and no longer exist.”

Today I bought a giant bag of rubber bands. “You see these?” I told Benjamin. “If you can make it to Saturday without hurting anyone or intentionally damaging anything, they’re yours on Saturday morning.” Yes, I bribed my kid with rubber bands.

Lilah’s school picture came home. She looks exactly like me in the only photo I have of my childhood. I couldn’t stop staring.

A woman told me today that her daughter has just gotten out of pull-ups at night and has been wetting the bed. “I need to sleep on the floor in the hall,” the child told her mom. “So I won’t pee in the bed.” Having read my book, the mother completely freaked out.

Sometimes, I feel a sneeze coming on and run to the bathroom. I don’t always make it.

This is what happens when I swear off Facebook for the month.

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Catherine December 13, 2012 at 4:18 am


  • Reply De a December 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    If it makes you feel any better, the sneeze / bladder connection happens even if you have only had c-sections. It’s age.

  • Reply magpie December 14, 2012 at 1:19 am

    we’ve had that existential crisis too. but, it passed…

    and the kid on the floor? ooof.

  • Reply Heide December 14, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    Maybe, you can gently suggest to the mom that the kid could use pull-ups at night for a while longer?

    • Reply emily December 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

      Yeah, that was the conclusion she came to, as well.

    Leave a Reply