February 9, 2017

Make American Chocolate Roll Again

I wake up every morning and it takes me a moment to remember that we live in this alternate reality now. I was supposed to be waking up with my federal government a consistent but distant backdrop to my everyday life, something I read about in between Betty White memes and controversies over Gwyneth Paltrow’s philosophy on how kale prevents toenail tumors. Instead, I wake up now unsure of what day of the week it is, disoriented until I remind myself that I will spend the day waiting for the latest assault to reason and morality.

Thinking about the day’s baking plans helps ground me. I wake up and think, “What day is it? Shit, Voldemort is our President. When do the kids need to get to school? Our democracy is being sold off to the highest bidder. Is the dog feeling better? This is actually happening to our country.” And the only way to get myself out of bed it to decide I need to put a couple of sticks of butter on the counter to soften, which I try to do before facing the fact that we’re going to spend untold amounts of my taxpayer dollars to build a wall to keep out people who are essential our economy but we’re quibbling over whether we have the money to make drinking water safe.

It’s kind of amazing I don’t spend most of the day lying on the floor staring at the ceiling. And that’s mostly because I have butter to cream.

Today I made a lovely chocolate roll. It was just so good. It was beautiful, too. And all the carpenters plus one painter loved it. More painters would have loved it but only one was here. I can’t tell if they like when I come in bringing baked goods or are afraid because I will likely end up talking about politics. Yesterday, I went in to the work area to tell them that DeVos had been confirmed. I knew they hadn’t heard because no one had come to check on me.


The children loved the chocolate roll, too. Because chocolate rolls make people happy. That’s how you can tell the difference between a chocolate roll and Jeff Sessions.

Our town is hiring a new high school principal, so tomorrow there is a coffee for parents to meet one of the candidates. Naturally, I am bringing coffee cake. Because it’s a coffee. I baked it this evening. Tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up and think, “What day is it? Oh, my god, the EPA is basically defunct. I need to cut up the coffee cake before I get up the kids. Shit, they really are going forward with the Dakota Pipeline.”

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