October 10, 2012

Question 10: Why did the psychologist cross the road?

What’s one thing you wish you could hear said to you that would give you something you need? Not just something you want, something you need.

Aw, crap. As the questioner indicated, this is what I get when I give a psychologist leave to ask me anything.

Look, I believe words are incredibly powerful and can do amazing things. But they have to be paired with truth for them to work. Choose your words carefully not to cover up what you really feel but to make sure you are expressing it in the most purely honest way possible.

What do I wish I could hear said? I don’t want, “I’m sorry.” People say it too glibly, too readily, and in the case of the people who might say it to me, the only way it could mean anything would be paired with tremendous acts of contrition along the lines of sackcloth and ashes.

But I could use an answer to the one question that nags me. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone knows the answer.

What I need is to know why.

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  • Reply Ken Wallo October 10, 2012 at 12:07 am

    I agree. The words “I’m sorry,” are more less important than being given an explanation. An explanation takes time and offers connection.

  • Reply Jennifer October 10, 2012 at 12:20 am

    Very interesting, tell me more about that.

  • Reply Poker Chick October 10, 2012 at 2:44 am

    There really is no answer to that one is there?

  • Reply sara October 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Sh*t, yeah. But really, uh, could there ever truly be a satisfactory answer to that? But without being in your shoes, I do really understand the need to ask.

  • Reply fiwa October 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    That’s such a big question. I don’t have anything to say because there is nothing that anyone else can say to you about that. But I wanted you to know I’m reading, and sometimes there are no words, but I’m still here, still reading.

  • Reply Lilian Nattel October 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    The answer to that is really the answer to why is there evil in the world, and how are some people capable of it? There is no satisfying answer. Human beings can be rotten. It’s more prevalent than is comfortable to think about and when it comes close through personal experience or the experience of someone we care about, it is painful. The answer to why is that the perps wanted to & they had the opportunity. That doesn’t help, does it?

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