November 8, 2013

Stone the Crows

In case you missed the first round of Fun and Games with Pandora, you can read it here.

As I am now a skilled and experienced Pandora user, I figured out how to add variety. (You tap the “add variety” button.) I added “Stephen Sondheim” to break up the unremitting stream of Wicked on my show tunes channel. For good measure, I also added in our favorite musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We love this musical.

(By “we” I mean the children and me. I think my husband may have lost his taste for it during the three months during which Benjamin refused to listen to anything else. It takes a special person to listen to “Benjamin Calypso” for three months running without developing a nervous tic. To his credit, he did watch the Donny Osmond movie with us, which probably should be retitled Donny Osmond and the Amazing Soft Porn because the guy is almost naked for about half of the movie.)

Lilah likes to listen to show tunes in the car after school. This is how we know she’ll turn out to be no good. On Wednesday, “You Are What You Feel” came on, which (duh) is always followed by “Jacob and Sons” because they’re grouped together on the same track. For those of you who don’t memorize entire Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals—and we won’t even ask why—that’s the song where the narrator names all the sons Jacob had.

The song ended, and Lilah commented, “It’s just like R’s house.”

“How so?”

“They have only men in the house.” R is her friend with two brothers and two dads. No females in the house. And since the song doesn’t mention any women, obviously Jacob’s house was all-male, too. Like, obviously, mom.

“Oh, honey. They just don’t name the women. But Jacob had wives.”

Now, let’s pause for a minute here while I acknowledge that I totally do this to myself. Of course I didn’t have to put “wife” into its plural form. There is no reason whatsoever my five-year-old needed to know that Jacob had a collection. But. I have this pathological need to provide complete information to my children. (See: AIDS, safe sex, condoms.)

This led to the usual round of questions and explanations, stopping short of a plot summary of all five seasons of Big Love.

The upside of this is that when they get around to covering polygamy in kindergarten, my daughter will be way ahead of the curve.

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1 Comment

  • Reply De A November 8, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    I recall one painful conversation that I somehow led from “What’s that dispenser for?” in the ladies room to the function of umbilical cords which left me wondering if I’d flushed my brain in the toilet stall. However, this weekend we were stuck waiting for a while so I started a game of “In my Grandmother’s Attic,” and neither kid could remember how to play. I took it as an exoneration of my past and future discursiveness.

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